The Rise and Fall of Nickelodeon

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
What? This article needs moar info on this faggot's other bullshit and temper tantrums (i.e. The Splat rant).
You can help by adding moar info on this faggot's other bullshit and temper tantrums (i.e. The Splat rant).
Enterbotlulz.png This person is an Enterbot which means he is a loser crybaby :-(

Be aware of that, you mindless hater.
Go into the pits of Hell where you belong.

The Rise and Fall of Nickelodeon (Powerword: Clint) is a Facebook page dedicated to whining about Nickelodeon and how much it sucks. Much like TheMysteriousMrEnter (who the page runner is obviously a fan of), they have a seething hatred of SpongeBob, Sanjay and Craig, and Breadwinners, and constantly complain how their mere existence is a sin against humanity. What makes them particularly notable is their hypocrisy, as they praise Cartoon Network and Disney XD for being the opposite of Nick, despite the fact that both networks are just as guilty of Nick's shitty practices.


Page Content

An attempt at humor.

As mentioned above, most of the posts the page makes are dedicated to whining about how much Nickelodeon sucks now, though they occasionally post other content as well, including:

  • Question of the Day, where the admin asks a question pertaining to shit no one cares about.
  • Reports on the ratings of CN, XD, and Nick, always making sure to shit all over the last one.
  • Unfunny stolen memes.
  • Reviews, where they gush about good shows and whine about bad ones.
  • Epic Character Battles of History, where they pit random TV characters into matchups and ask fans who would win, because... yeah. Has seen some increasingly bizarre matchups over time, including Bill Dauterive and Bowser, Jack-Jack and Raven (makes some sense, seeing that the both have super powers, but one is a baby and the other is teenage Goth trash), King Dedede and Mater, and Calvin and Hobbes and Jessie and James.
  • Whining about how he wants Hey Arnold's Jungle Movie to be made. It finally is, making him happy, but he did get pissy when Russell Hicks said today's kids probably don't know about Hey Arnold.
  • Screencaps of his "precious" classic shows. "Enjoy!"
  • Stolen fanart, often without credit.
  • Single panels and sometimes entire pages from the Invader Zim comic, making buying the comic pointless since you can read the pages he and other people are uploading to the internet for free (which is very likely illegal). If Oni Press ever discontinues the comic because of people posting it online, you can bet Clint here will say it's all Nick's fault.
  • Comments from followers containing ass-kissing, mindless agreement, and sometimes bitchy, poor-quality, Nostalgia Critic-wannabee videos of their own.
  • One really annoying guy who spams Dr. Robotnik videos on every comment that says a bad thing about Nick. Apparently he doesn't realize that Robotnik is supposed to be the villain, much like everyone else who follows the page...

Seething Hatred of Nick

For not living up to my inhumanly high standards, you deserve to die.

Like most manchildren on the internet, the page frequently complains about how much Nickelodeon needs to die. However, this page seems to be a special case of this, as the admin seems to be physically incapable of not criticizing Nick. In one instance, the admin congratulated Adventure Time (which has gone really downhill lately) on winning a Peabody Award, then proceeds to shit on Nick for not having "quality" programming like CN. Many of the page's screencaps of unrelated shows often have him whining about Nick, or have the context edited to make the image look like it's anti-Nick. When any given co/ thread is more civilized and constructive than your Facebook page, you know something isn't right.

More or less what this page does.

In 2015, when Nickelodeon's ratings went dangerously down the toilet, the admin took the opportunity to bitch about the network, citing they deserved this horrible fate and that if the company was to die it would be a good thing. Never mind that this would mean hundreds of talented, innocent people could wind up without jobs, but since they work for the company that is literally Hitler, it's not a problem to this page. Also, when it turned out the hugely hyped The Splat was just a programming block for 1990s Nick shows, the admin threw quite possibly the biggest shitfit this side of the Serengeti. He declared the network was dead to him, just because what everyone thought was a channel was really an Adult Swim-like block, even though it was, y'know, giving him and all his manchild friends the 90's shows they had asked for. Read it here, but be warned: complete and utter rage and ungratefulness await. When The Splat did debut, he noted how bad the ratings were and yet again continued to insult Nick and act like a fucking baby, even though he probably brought it upon them by more or less implying to his followers they shouldn't bother. Nice job breaking it, hero. Even when the network or its parent company does something right, even in 2016 when Nick improved considerably, Clint still finds something to complain about.

A few people have told him to get a fucking grip, sometimes with good reasons, only for Clint to ignore them and claim everything he's doing is in the name of all that is good and that they're dumb for disagreeing with him.

At the end of 2015, he made a list of the "worst" things to come out of the year. Apparently the list was only limited to animation, meaning stuff like Satoru Iwata's death, anything involving Donald Trump, and the Paris terror attacks were skipped over. Wanna know what made the number one spot? Yep, you guessed it, The Splat. Yes, Nick (admittedly misguidedly) putting everyone's favorite 90's shows on a channel Clint doesn't have makes them worse than Hitler. But that's not the worst part. What came in second behind this? The incident with the Steven Universe fandom. Y'know, where somebody almost killed themselves? Yes, Clint seriously thinks that a stupid programming block is worse than fans bullying one of their own into suicide. Even then, he apparently wasn't really concerned about the actual victim and was more worried about the reputation of his "precious" cartoon.

He also posted live reactions to the Fairly Oddparents (which Clint and most of his followers have a massive hate boner for, especially compared to other shows) season 10 premiere and the 2016 Kid's Choice Awards, apparently unaware he was giving Nick ratings when he could easily just not watch them and live a normal life, but no, he wants to make himself "suffer" instead of doing something he likes. And yes, he did throw a hissy fit when SpongeBob won the KCA again instead of Gravity Falls or Steven Universe, even though pretty much nobody cares about a children's awards show.

There's also the fact that, despite claiming he wants Nick to improve, he's done absolutely nothing to try that. He almost never talks about Harvey Beaks or TMNT, the only good shows on Nick (to him at least), yet he's always sure to moan about their latest kidcom, giving it attention that will increase its chances of not being canned by Nick. Not to mention his shitfit over Nick's newest show, The Loud House, airing its first promo on Nicktoons instead of regular Nick and whining that it will be a Nicktoons exclusive (and as you know, because he in particular doesn't have a channel hundreds of other people with satellite do have, the entire world is fucked!), even though the creator confirmed it will air on regular Nick, but heaven forbid Clint has to do research! And of course, he said jack shit about the series until after it premiered, so if nobody had watched its premiere due to not knowing about it and nobody telling them to, it would have been partially his fault. (Not that he'd ever admit that, because clearly it's Nick's fault nobody watches their shows!) Coonfoot tried to explain that if people actually fucking watched their shows, Nick would realize people like them and they wouldn't get screwed over, but Clint completely fails to comprehend such a thing, instead continuing to believe that Nick is the devil, he is a blameless saint, ratings and viewership are meaningless, and sitting on his fat ass pirating their shows is the right way to go about this.

Hypocrisy

The admin tells people not to whine about a show, then encourages them to do just that.

The page displays a large amount of hypocrisy, perhaps even more so than its god Mr. Enter. How, exactly? Do the words Young Justice, Sym-Bionic Titan, and Motorcity mean anything to you? Three shows that aired on Cartoon Network and Disney XD and were unfairly screwed over by their networks. And yet, the admin almost never brings that up, instead preferring to bitch endlessly about how Nick screwed over Korra, ignoring the fact that they at least had the decency to let Korra finish its story, while Young Justice, Titan, and Motorcity were killed off without proper conclusion. Even then, CN and Disney have proven themselves to be just as horrible at scheduling as Nick is (for example, Gravity Falls seems to have a schedule of "whenever Disney feels like it" when it comes to new episodes), yet he never criticizes them for it. In fairness, he has ONCE spoken about Sym-Bionic Titan being cancelled prematurely and Disney XD's shitty ratings and scheduling, but he probably considers them minor issues compared to the evil committed by Nick. Even then, the only time he ever really calls out CN or XD is to bitch about one show that he doesn't like, such as Teen Titans Go, Pickle and Peanut, or the Powerpuff Girls reboot (the latter of which is the only one that can be considered objectively bad).

The admin sees a need to push his anti-Nick agenda into almost everything, a shining example being on Memorial Day, where he called the people running the SpongeBob Facebook horrible people for posting about how Memorial Day was a 3-day weekend, calling them disrespectful to American veterans. Meanwhile, Disney XD's Facebook made a similar post that caused little to no uproar, which of course the admin never noticed. He also seemed to have a hope that Pig Goat Banana Cricket could be a positive step forward for the network, though shortly after it debuted, he stated he didn't like it (though to be fair, he hasn't complained about it at all afterwards). Interestingly, this post came shortly after Mr. Enter made an atrocity notepage on the show. Coincidence? I think not.

Perhaps the most shining example where he outright shows how much of a hypocrite he is, the admin made a post telling people hating on We Bare Bears and whining about how they want their old shows back to knock it off... then tells them to do exactly that to Nick and Teen Titans Go. This falls into the age-old fallacy of hating on something the popular like being frowned upon, but hating on what the popular hate is perfectly okay.

Somehow, this page has gotten Doug Walker and Coonfoot, the latter a noted Nickelodeon defender, on their side. In the case of the latter, Coon originally disliked the page for kicking the network while they were down, asking his fans to help the network get better ratings. The page later made a post about how they don't hate Nick and are only using "tough love", having no ill will towards the people who work there. This got Coon to forgive them, and they immediately went back to complaining about how terrible Nick is and how they should die afterwards. However, after the admin threw an epic shitfit over The Splat, Coonfoot realized what a fucking idiot he is and called him out on it. Except now they're somehow on good terms again, due to the admin "apologizing", except his apology was more or less a calmer, reworded version of his rant about The Splat with no real apology for his behavior. It probably wouldn't be a surprise if this guy started sending death threats to Nick's staff and still be able get Coon on his good side. Coonfoot's completely done with his shit now, however.

Also threw a hissyfit over a Fairly OddParents promo parodying Instagram. Yet apparently the fact that We Bare Bears constantly features smartphones, Facebook, selfies, etc. is totally fine. His followers also raged over a promo spoofing Pokemon Go, despite the fact it was actually somewhat timely and something the target audience would actually get, unlike PPG 2016 incorrectly using rage faces during a time when nobody cares about them.

None of his followers seem to know what a parody is, as any time Nickelodeon or Teen Titans Go references or pays homage to something, cries of "fak u you ripped it off!" are always elicited from them even though it should be obvious that they're paying tribute to something in a self-aware manner.

Bullshit of Note

An accurate portrayal of the admin's behavior. No wonder he loves this show.

Here is some miscellaneous bullshit committed by the page admin and his followers. Feel free to add more.

  • Encourages harrasment of Cyma Zarghami, Russell Hicks, the voice actors for the 2016 Powerpuff Girls reboot, the cast and crew of Game Shakers (except Kel Mitchell), and Rahart Adams, star of the Nickelodeon movie "Liar Liar Vampire" (who he advocated punching in the face, using a Gravity Falls reference that was referring to an emo who was probably trying to commit date rape, something that actually deserves a punch in the face).
  • Gave out links to leaked Harvey Beaks episodes before they aired on TV, then complained about the show getting poor ratings and claiming Nick doesn't care about it.
  • Told everybody to stop getting hyped for The Splat (a channel that will air classic Nick shows, probably to get people like him to STFU) when it was rumored they may be showing shows from the 2000's.
  • When it turned out The Splat wasn't its own channel but was just a block on TeenNick, Clint threw a giant, expletive-filled tantrum that made Chris-chan's rants about trolls look like nothing. Apparently, the thought that he should be grateful Nick is even acknowledging their 90's fandom at all never crossed his mind. He also proclaims that nobody has TeenNick, making the block a waste, when that's bullshit, because the widely-used DirecTV carries TeenNick by default.

Discovery of Page

The admin eventually discovered the existence of this page. However, in a rare moment of calmness, he didn't mind at all, and considered it free publicity. He also wouldn't hold anything against the creator for coming clean, which would be fine and dandy... if the creator hadn't been blocked for not putting up with the admin's shit. One of his page helpers was also upset they weren't mentioned. Well, there ya are. Happy?

Why "The Rise and Fall of Nickelodeon" have shit fly over their fucking heads

Instead of trying to cleave Nick a new one with shitty humor and theft of their Zim comic, how about saying some actual facts as to how Nick bit the dust?

  1. In 1996, they shelved the Pete & Pete Movie for a crap adaptation of Harriet the Spy featuring that child actress who starred as the Girl Scout and Girlvinyl's twin in fat, Rosie O'Donnell of all people, and proceeded to sit on it until they decided to push it out as "Snow Day", aka "Blacks on Ice with Dogs".
  2. When they hired Jim Vasquez for Invader Zim, the CEOs kept shovelling bucketloads of semen encrusted money into his mouth to make him family friendly for the show.
  3. After the Nicktoon boom of 1993, Nickelodeon struggled in the face of anime and the rise of Toonami and Adult Swim because they were too family friendly couldn't grow up with their audience, hence Nick Jr. with their mascot, Dora the Illegal Alien.
  4. They even turned down a pilot for "The Patakis" made by Nickelodeon associate creator Craig Bartlett because they thought it was "too dark" for their day care channel. Luckily, they overcorrected with TeenNick. Years later.
  5. When Disney Channel was pushing out live action shows, Nickelodeon then proceeded to play ripoff with Nick @ Nite.
  6. When they decided to adapt the novels of Animorphs into a show, they basically turned it into "Degrassi with Furries".
  7. CatDog and Spongebob were basically kid versions of Ren and Stimpy because Nick still wanted to play Peter Pan and not grow up with their audience.
  8. When the users of Rise and Fall of Nickelodeon were teenagers, you can bet that they quit watching Nickelodeon when they turned into their 10s and proceeded into puberty, effectively turning them over to channels like Court TV and Spike. Why they are bitching about Nickelodeon now, we'll never know.
  9. TeenNick was finally made when Nick realized they still had older kids to milk money out of, so after getting local pedo Dan Schneider back on the team among other talentless writers, they proceeded to resume the reaming they gave their audience when they were kids.
  10. The show Doug was canned on Nickelodeon because they were being cheap fuckers and hence they bit the hand that fed them, and let Disney buy it.
  11. When they were at their last legs, they played "Kids In America" with a still of their cartoon stars because they knew that they were too cheap to make it a GIF.

"Made by kids, forever for kids" indeed, and it looks like the Rise and Fall of Nick will never stray from that mindset.

How to Troll the Page

  • Say Sanjay and Craig, Breadwinners, Pig Goat Banana Cricket, and Teen Titans Go are good shows.
  • Say Nick is better than CN and Disney XD.
  • Say you like new SpongeBob episodes.
  • Tell them CN and Disney are just as bad as Nick when it comes to scheduling and screwing over shows.
  • Call CN overrated.
  • Say that Adventure Time has gone downhill.
  • Accuse them of only acting nice about not hating Nick when Coonfoot confronted them.
  • Say Mr. Enter doesn't know shit.
  • Tell him to stop being such a baby about The Splat.
  • Say you're just glad The Splat exists at all.
  • Suggest he buy the 90's Nick shows on DVD if he wants them so badly (Hey Arnold, Rocko's Modern Life, and Angry Beavers all have complete series sets you can find at Wal-Mart).
  • Suggest he watch Nick shows on Hulu, Amazon, or this site
  • Tell him streaming sites/services are actually cheaper than cable/satellite.
  • Tell him to grow up.
  • Tell him that all he's doing is giving Nickelodeon free promotion.
  • Say Cyma Zarghami is a good person. Not a good president or a good businesswoman, but a good person. Proceed with caution, as shit will hit the fan.
  • Tell him that the network's target audience doesn't have a problem with Every Witch Way or Breadwinners.
  • Say Nick encouraging kids to exercise with the Worldwide Day of Play is a noble cause.
  • Tell him to get a job, hobby, and/or life.

Gallery

External Links


Portal icon television.gif

The Rise and Fall of Nickelodeon is part of a series on

Media

Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage.

Portal icon social media.png

The Rise and Fall of Nickelodeon is part of a series on

Social Media

Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage.