—And yet you did it on the internet?
In ancient times, lepers were made to live far outside the cities, had to wear torn clothes so they could be easily identified, and were required to shout "Unclean! Unclean!" whenever the uninfected approached them. In modern times, the first two of these requirements have disappeared, but recently the third—shouting to everyone that you are infected—has made a comeback. The difference, of course, is that in ancient times the shouting was a warning that one was both physically and spiritually diseased, but thanks to the internets, diseases are now a source of pride that somehow also empowers women at the same time.
Thanks to fact that the concepts of both shame and logic have become irrelevant relics of the past, the internet unironically brings you #ShoutYourStatus. At first glance, this hashtag appears perfectly innocent, as most sane people would interpret the word "status" as merely meaning what one is doing at any particular moment (and the entire concept of social media is based upon people telling the world what they are doing at any particular moment). But in this case, the word "status" is actually a euphemism for "sexually transmitted disease," for while SJWs will proclaim that your disease is nothing to be ashamed of, they nonetheless will ironically refuse to actually use the word.
April of 2016 is "STD Awareness Month" (or "STI Awareness Month," as it's preferred, since I guess the word "infection" sounds nicer than "disease," or something). There are many other awareness months: October, for example, is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. But that month exists to remind women to get regular breast exams and not for women to proclaim to the world just how proud they are to have a tumor in their titty. But, STIs carry with them a "stigma," doncha know, and like all stigmas they only and exclusively affect women. Having an STI brands you a slut, for they imply that you had unprotected sex with someone you didn't know very well, or just didn't care. Nevermind that that's really the only way you can get an STI and it probably does mean you're a slut: the fact that one in five Americans have the herpes virus makes having it perfectly OK (kind of like how it was perfectly OK to have the Black Death in mid-1300s Europe because about every one in three people also had it). Feelings were being hurt and internet action had to be taken.
—Ella Dawson, daring to dream.
Enter Ella Dawson. Ella is a 23-year-old gender and sexuality studies major (surprise fucking surprise) who also had a vag full of herpes simplex virus type 1 that really wasn't doing her much good. In addition to the herpes, she was also infected with such other terrible ailments as white privilege and heterosexuality, which tragically prevented her from standing out among other feminists in any meaningful way. Her only hope for attention was to turn her vaginal frown upside down and change a negative into another negative that idiots would think is a positive. Hey, when life hands you lemons, stick those lemons behind the radiator for a week with a piece of uncooked chicken, stir in some water from the toilet, and see if you can trick some unwitting sucker into drinking it.
—Britni de la Cretaz (not racism in general? or genocide? or herpes?).
Britni de la Cretaz is a recovered alcoholic, Zoe Quinn hair enthusiast, and "freelance" (i.e. frequently unemployed) writer, who claims she has been writing about stigmatized topics on the internet for almost 10 years. Among her writings are such charming titles as Why I'm Proud My Child Showed Her Doctor Her Vulva, I Had A Lot Of Feelings When I Shaved My Legs For The First Time In Two Years, and I Had A Tampon Stuck In My Vagina For 9 Days. Britni is likewise infected, both with herpes and with a lack of any redeeming qualities.
Along with another student named Kayla Axelrod (who apparently was not simply content with having the coolest last name ever), the #ShoutYourStatus hashtag was born. The idea is that if some people tweet about how having herpes is a wonderful gift (no, we are not fucking making that up) that other people would do the same, because if enough people say something then it has to be true.
#ShoutYourStatus went over about as well as anyone with even a cursory knowledge of the internet would expect. People, surprisingly, were not thrilled about a cause that seemed dedicated to glorifying an incurable disease, regardless of how many bullshit distinctions between "unashamed" and "pride" the creators tried to make. The hashtag drew widespread criticism from everyone who was not a self-absorbed, delusional, SJW, Kool-Aid drinker. While Men's Rights Activists and right-wing trolls were, of course, immediately blamed for the hashtag's failure, a bit of retrospective thought shows us alternative possibilities:
- The hashtag is based on the presumption that people should not be ashamed of having STIs when, perhaps, they should be, depending on the circumstances of how they contracted it.
- The hashtag assumes that even people who are not ashamed of having STIs also feel like broadcasting their personal lives to the entire world.
- It further assumes that those people who are not necessarily ashamed of their STI also believe that broadcasting this information is somehow worthwhile, productive, or desirable (it is none of these).
- The creators of the hashtag (falsely) believe that their idea is an amazing one, and no one other than an MRA or a troll could possibly disagree with their premise or "cause."
- The hashtag refuses to accept that the stigma associated with herpes stems from the fact that it's an aggravating, life-long, incurable disease, and that the creator's perception the hashtag's usefulness is severely misguided and dangerously counterproductive to combating the spread of STIs.
- It's a fucking retarded idea.
The fact that Britni wrote "hardly any allies of ours stepped up to help us take the hashtag back" from its detractors is pretty telling. In a world where transsexual bathroom rights is considered one of the most important civil rights struggles of the 21st-century, the fact that your herpes hashtag isn't garnering any support should really clue you in that you're doing something wrong. Using bizarre logic, Britni confidently states "[p]ushback to the hashtag is evidence of why they're so needed." Yes, you read that correctly: backlash is evidence of need. Using her logic, if someone were to create a "#KillAllBlacks" hashtag, and tons of people tweeted how disgusting and awful that is, under Britni's logic that would be proof positive that the hashtag is needed. (As a side note, we at Encyclopedia Dramatica will henceforth consider any and all backlash against our articles as proof that they are needed. Thanks for the concept, Brit!)
We present below a selection of choice tweets, although they are so numerous you might just want to visit the hashtag at the link below. As you will see, a great deal of the hashtag's haters are women, although Britni blames the hate on (and I'm quoting here) "men’s rights activists and trolls." She doesn't speak a word about the non-MRA non-troll females who find the concept disgusting. And if you do visit you'll notice there really aren't that many actual trolls since the people who dislike the hashtag do make valid points.
The Voice of Herpes Speaks
- BuzzFeed - Ella Dawson gives us a fascinating peek into the life of a gross person.
- Women's Health Magazine - Supporting unhealthy advice.
- Ravishly - Britni learns the laws of cause and effect.
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|Featured article April 26 & 27, 2016|
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