Hathor the Cow Goddess

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Hathor the Cow Goddess (aka Heather Cushman-Dowdee) is a hippie, liberal, commie, helicopter mom of epic proportions. She shits out comic strips about, well...why don't I just let her explain what Hathor does in her own words:


   
 
She is a superhero who wants to save humanity through the combination of nurture, sustainability and bonding inherent in the practice of attachment parenting. Her movement is called the Evolution Revolution, her breasts are her superpower and her sidekick is her baby, always carried in a sling and prominently (politically) suckling at her exposed breast.
 

 
 

—Hathor, trying to incite a political movement through her tits.


These comic strips consist of Hathor (Heather with a cow mask), her children (one of them a baby constantly sucking on Hathor's tit), and her husband, who is always depicted wearing a mask, probably to hide his shame. Through these God awfully drawn piles of child abusing shit, Hathor manages to give other leftist hippie mothers (and their eunuch husbands) advice on all sorts of proper parenting techniques such as co-sleeping, breastfeeding in public, home births, unschooling, and NEVER LETTING YOUR KIDS OUT OF YOUR SIGHT EVAR!!! She also preaches feminist, nature oriented hippie politics and makes attacks on devil institutions such as doctors, scientists, and republicans. She disgusts even 4chan. Did we mention that she's been making this webcomic for nine years now?


Forms Of Child Abuse

What's really going on.

Orgy

Co-sleeping is the practice of having infants and young children sleep in the same bed as the parents. This allows quick and easy access to hot incestuous rape. Hathor is an avid defender of co-sleeping and believes that anyone who tells her co-sleeping is not in a child's best interest (i.e. doctors) are merely trying to push the crib profiteering agenda.

Tits or GTFO

We all know what breastfeeding is. There are even fetishes devoted to it. Hathor is a staunch proponent of breastfeeding, even when it means popping her tit out in any old public place (such as a grocery store, swimming pool, when meeting new people, etc.). Hathor also believes that breastfeeding should even continue when the child is old enough to ask for it. Hathor seems to have a fascination with showing her tits to everyone she possibly can; this most likely points to the fact that she is an exhibitionist and should be arrested as a sexual deviant. Also if anyone attempts to even mention the word formula, then they are right wing Nazis trying to replace the natural bond between a mother's tit and her baby with scientific mumbo-jumbo.

Shitting Out Kids The Old Fashioned Way

Hospitals are where doctors work. Therefore they are merely entrance portals to Mordor. Horrible things happen at hospitals such as monitoring the mother and baby's health and cesarean sections. Hospitals workers DO NOT care at all about the women who are giving birth, they only care about making money off of them. That is why they have scary scientific equipment and force drugs and cesarean sections on all women who want nothing more than to give a "natural" birth. Never mind that some of those women would have died without all of that hospital intervention, but just go on and keep it all natural, you know, like a tofu burger. So how does one keep it natural you ask? Simple, get yourself a small pool and give birth in the privacy of your own home. I hear the placenta is recyclable.

Uneducating The Youth

What unschooling can do for you.

Unschooling is the process of having your kids run around doing whatever the fuck they want and by some means they will become educated. Now "whatever the fuck they want" does seem a little vague so let me offer an example. In a traditional school environment kids go to school where they learn various subject materials along with social interaction skills. In unschool, kids run around the house, watch t.v., and do nothing worthwhile. This will some how give them all the skills they will ever need to become productive members of society.

Helicopter's In The Sky

Hathor is probably the worst example of a overprotective parent. If a woman is not in constant contact with their child then that child is being abandoned and will probably grow up to be a republican or some other nonsense. Studies show that this sort of treatment can lead a kid to develop "Peter Pan Syndrome" in which the kid does not want or feels unable to grow up. This will inevitably lead to infantilism and Babyfurs which, of course, would make Hathor happy since she could play mommy forever.

Hug A Tree

Hathor is pretty much your straight forward ultra-leftist retard. Some of her core views include:

  • Republicans are Satan's spawn.
  • Technology will kill us all.
  • Look at this baby sucking on my tits.
  • Faux news hates children.
  • W is a fuckwad.
  • Global warming will be the end of our children
  • Check out my milk bags.
  • Jesus fuck where did my kid go?
  • A faggot is fine too.

Gallery Of Fail

For Fucks Sake About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


See Also

Links

Hathor the Cow Goddess is part of a series on
Pedobear.png
UnV& Pedophiles [-+]

Aaron WilliamsAdam LanzaAlenonimoAlison RappAmber ButtrumAndy MaherAngryjediAnimatedJamesBeefraveBikerfoxBill CosbyBritbongCasey AnthonyChaosscizzorsColonel McBadassComicalityCyril SmithDaddyOFiveDahvie VanityDangermanDeekerDidaskalosDynacatlovesmeEric RidenourErik MöllerFergie OliverFrank BonafedeGreg MazujianGreville JannerG-ZayHarrison DigfootHumonHypnoHunter MooreIrish282James Terry Mitchell JrJerry Peetjervaise brooke hamsterJimmy SavileJohn Patrick RogersJonathan YanivJoseph KonyJustin BerryJustin DabrowKaitlyn HuntKatherine MarionKyle PerkinsLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.LittleCloudLtFlaggerLogansperman2Lucian HodobocM. ChaosMagicrichMandoPonyMichael JacksonMikevirusMatrooko11MZMcBrideNathanrNeil FoxOmegaloreOnideus Mad HatterOnisionPaul WalkerPennywisePurple AkiRalph SquillaceRiverman72Roger SampsonSam DeathWalkerSam RassenfossSarah ButtsShane LeeSibeScientologySethistoSophie LabelleTheAmazingAtheistThomas Watt HamiltonTimboxTrap-kunTyciolUncle GrandpaUpdownmostlyViolentacrezVonHeltonWoody AllenW. T. SnacksYoung Tubers UnitedYtask

[Boring. Move on.Read me!]

Hathor the Cow Goddess is part of a series on Webcomics

BalloonLulz100.png

Manga Ripoffs - MegatokyoSnafu comicsSuirenoki

BallonAE.png

Furry bullshit - BengoExterminatus NowHousepets!Kevin & KellLackadaisySonichuTails Gets TrolledThe Dragon DoctorsTwoKinds

Soap operas - Moon Over JuneSingle Asian FemaleQuestionable contentThe Nice Guy Comic

Gaming - CTRL ALT DeleteGod ModeMSPaint AdventuresPenny ArcadeSore ThumbsSweet Bro and Hella Jeff

Fandom - Ancient RealmsHow I Became YoursTG ComicsThe Legend of Razor

Weird shit - Apartment 18Assigned MaleAutobiography of an invisible monsterBilly The HereticChick tractsCocoa The ClownDeCadence ComicThe Dilbert HoleDNS ComicDr.Choker and PalsDrawn-chanElectric RetardExplosmHathor the Cow GoddessHipster HitlerHumonJerkcityJoe Mathlete explains MarmadukeLego Robot ComicsLOOK WHAT I BROUGHT HOMEManic Pixie Nightmare GirlsNeo-KosmosMarried to the SeaMorning GloryRocky DennisSarah's ScribblesSpace MooseStoneTossxkcd

Providers - Anne OnymousBengoBlazesonicCarlos LatuffCheddar-CheesiaChris-chanComic GenesisD.C. SimpsonDave CheungDave HopkinsDave KellyDavid GontermanDragonfiendDisneyFan01Drshnaps ProductionsEric W. SchwartzHamletMachineHeather DowdeeHayakainHumonImmelmannJames M. HardimanJay NaylorJennifer Diane ReitzJohn CampbellJustflyakiteKay FedewaKurohimeLeoianPsyguyRaulo CáceresRHJuniorRodney CastonSmackjeevesSnapesnoggerSteve MacIsaacTargTim BuckleyTim ToddTom PrestonWhitedog1Wyatt MannZyklon Ben

Enemies - Constructive CriticismJohn SolomonTalent