D. C. Simpson
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Take Calvin and Hobbes. Remove all the humor, insight, tenderness and originality and replace it with smug leftard bullshit about Bushitler and Amerikkka. Oh, and make Calvin a fox. Congratulations! You’ve created Ozy and Millie, a comic that coasts by entirely on people’s residual goodwill toward Bill Watterson. The comic tackles topics such as:
- Painfully forced gentle bemusement at all this crazy modern politics
- Painfully forced gentle bemusement at all this crazy modern technology
- Painfully forced gentle bemusement at all this crazy modern media culture
- Painfully forced gentle bemusement at all this crazy modern pop-psychology
Simpson also writes a second comic, ‘I Drew This,’ where his pinko sensibilities are even more on display. This comic has a liberal eagle in it. This eagle wears a beret, because Simpson is the sort of Godless commie fag who thinks Europe is a liberal utopia where everyone shits ice cream and pisses socialized medicine. And he’s a creatively-bankrupt pussy who can’t help but embrace stereotypes. Seriously, a beret? What the fuck?
The Furluminati have Simpson's back
There are two sorts of furries in the world: there are those who are so unable to come to terms with their unspeakable perversity that they break down and fetishize everything, turning life into one big yiffy skritchy orgy of sad. Then there are those who are so unable to come to terms with their unspeakable perversity that they break down and shut out anything sexual, turning life into a happy, fluffy Disney-esque orgy of innocence...and sad. Simpson is the latter. His fear of sex is so all-encompassing that he has dedicated his life to protecting the cherished innocence of his creation; he has been known to fly into an insane rage if anyone were to mention the words ‘sex’ and ‘Ozy and Millie’ in the same sentence. And, boy, does he freak if he sees porn of them. Keep this in mind when you’re thinking of trolling him.
Because of Simpson’s extreme sensitivity to butt-hurt and his legion of slavering fantards, ‘Ozy and Millie’ is the only thing that furries are afraid to draw porn of. Even Dave_Kelly pussed out in trolling Simpson, slapping a “I’m sooooo sorry” disclaimer on his parody, so afraid was he of Simpson’s achy mangina. At least 100 years ago, CrushYiffDestroy also mysteriously removed a critique of Simpson’s work.
Rumor holds that Simpson has a fetish for shaving, but, unable to deal with it like a rational adult, he instead slips subtle clues as to his wanking proclivities into his supposedly family-friendly strip.
The Terrible Bluebitch Soul Rape
Last Thursday, Simpson decided he wasn’t getting enough attention, so he declared that he was a woman trapped in a man’s body, a bold gambit well-known in the web comic world. A week later, he changed his mind, but anonymous does not forget. A caricature of Simpson’s fursona (a blue dog thing) with a dick originated on fchan and quickly began making the rounds. Simpson was shocked, SHOCKED!, that anyone would dare mock him, and he responded the only way he knew how: by crying about it in his LiveJournal. Hilariously, Simpson claimed the picture had almost raped him, and said the existence of First-Amendment-protected parody pictures making fun of his fake dog character was “like being groped on the subway, then haughtily told that the person who did it has the first amendment right to do so.”
Simpson’s official reaction to the picture was to cry the tears of ultimate sadness like the little pussy he is. And then to write this:
—D.C. Simpson, crawling in his skin from wounds that will not heal.
This reaction caused high drama on the CYD forums as CYDiots quickly divided themselves into feuding camps: Pissy Simpson fanboys suddenly showing their true colors and Noble Trolls. The delicious in-fighting continued in Drama_Awesome, where postvixen even weighed in to say BOO HOO HOO STOP TRANNYSECUTING US.
RHJunior vs. D. C. Simpson
On November 15, 2006, 34-year-old virgin right-wing loon RHJunior, a furry responsible for his own line of political shit-toons, followed the example of his neo-con heroes and declared war on Simpson with a series of half-assed rant comics after seeing this comic of Simpson's which he thought was mocking him. To the grave disappointment of dramaticians everywhere, Simpson failed to rise to the bait, instead posting in his livejournal about how he was totally not going to respond because he was the better man. Hayes tried to keep the drama going with another anemic swipe, this time a baffling caricature. For more information on this exciting slapfight, see RHJunior
After Ozy and Millie
- So, a few years ago, I had this idea for a graphic novel about a dog.
- At the time I was sick, and had taken more cold medicine than the bottle recommended. If you're hard up for ideas, maybe you should try it. Because the story's stayed with me ever since.
- Raine's story is semiautobiographical in a weird sort of way, but then, all art is self-portraiture. Raine isn't me, Raine is Raine, but the fact that I've found this story compelling for so long I guess must say something about the themes being important to me.
- I'll be posting one page a week, on Fridays, until the story is told. Originally I hadn't meant to publish it online, only in print, but...somehow this just seemed like the way to go.
- If you're used to my previous work, this will feel different. I'm not trying to be funny here--certainly not on every page--and there will be parts that are darker than anything in "Ozy and Millie" ever was. Still, I think the theme remains the same--it's another story about a misfit finding her place.
- This story has a beginning and an end and a bunch of stuff in between. Usually my comics just wander, but this one goes someplace, kind of. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy it.
May 9, 2009
Firstly, I want to give an approving shout-out to the really generous tippers I've had in the past few weeks. I'm trying to save money up for some upcoming expenses, and every little bit helps, so I hope good karma will follow you around now.
Also, have recent developments in this story startled you?
You're not alone, of course. And, anyway, they were kind of supposed to; that's kind of the point.
Nearly everyone who's actually written to me has had positive things to say about it; the response, actually, has been extremely gratifying. As I've said, it's a story that's been percolating in my brain for years and I've been working hard at getting it right.
I did warn you it would be darker than my previous work. And, a lot less funny. More complicated, I would say.
As much as it makes me roll my eyes to even have to say this, though, there is one notion I feel like I should respond to.
One person writes:
There's been some controversy over your most recent storyline, in particular the relationship between the protagonists. A lot of people are labelling the strips as an advocation for beastiality, and are particularly shocked as this is coming from a long-time creator of a more wholesome comic.
I actually have my doubts that "a lot of people" actually hold that opinion, because it seems transparently silly to me. I suspect anyone saying that is the sort of person who, for whatever reason, doesn't like me and feels compelled to "take me down a peg." I've certainly gotten my share of that, and at this point it's little more than background droning to which I pay little attention.
But if anyone actually does honestly worry that I might be "advocating bestiality," let me set your mind at ease: No. I am not doing that.
If anyone really does think that, I have to ask: do you read Nabokov's Lolita and think he's advocating pedophilia? Do you read Dickens's Oliver Twist and think he's advocating selling children on the street, or picking pockets? Do you read Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights and think she's advocating necrophilia? Do you read Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale and think she's advocating legalized rape?
In other words, do you go through life constantly assuming that anything that's presented in fiction is a full-throated endorsement of that behavior in real life? I very much doubt you do.
For that matter, since, sadly, not enough people actually read books...do you watch "Family Guy" and think that, because Brian the dog regularly dates, and sleeps with, human women, Seth McFarlane is therefore "advocating bestiality"? Yes, it's "just a cartoon." So is this.
Besides, Jeff and Princess didn't even sleep together, they just kissed. (Well, they technically "slept" together in the literal sense of the word, but that's it.) I thought that was fairly clear. I also thought it was pretty obviously not a good idea for them.
My goal with all this is to explore, more seriously and in more detail than one generally sees, what it would really be like if that old cartoon trope of humans owning sentient talking pets were actually true, because it always struck me that there was something fundamentally disturbing about that. (Could Shaggy have Scooby put down? If so, isn't that sort of...wrong?) In doing so, I'm trying also to explore what makes someone a "person," and what ramifications that has.
So, it's partly metaphor, partly an exploration of a strange cartoon tradition (like what "Watchmen" or "The Incredibles" did with the inherent weirdness of superheroes). What would that world be like, and what does that say about the world we really live in?
Whether I succeed in this, and whether the exercise is worthwhile in the first place, is for the reader to determine, not me. But, to leave out the obvious tension that would exist for an adolescent boy owning an opposite-sex sentient animal, who was also his best friend, would have been to leave an important dimension unexplored.
Later, the notion of animal suffrage will play a role in the plot, and somehow I'm not expecting a flood of letters demanding to know if I actually advocate letting dogs vote.
Frankly, if some people don't get it, that's more than fine with me, because art that absolutely everyone understands tends to be pretty boring and pointless. Something really challenging is always going to inspire anger from some and mockery from others. It actually makes me feel like I'm doing a decent job.
I'm abnormal. I'm a freak. Not only am I willing to acknowledge that, I'm proud of it, and you should be glad I am. Life would be a lot worse if everybody fit the parameters we generally think of as "normal." "Normal" people cause 99% of the trouble in the world and produce 1% of the good ideas and good art, because us freaks are the ones who look at society from enough of a remove to come up with something new. All of us stand on the shoulders of brilliant freaks.
So, here's to my fellow freaks, and here's to everyone who's written me and everyone who's getting something out of this story. Wave your freak flag high.
- Review of the comic on The Bad Webcomic Wiki.
- Another one by The Webcomic Overlook - 1/5 five stars.
Fan Forum Fail
Recently, Dana/David/whatever the fuck he/she/it got fed up with the fan forums Define Cynical, despite a few white knights defending his/her/its work. He gave this reason as to why he stopped linking to them:
Here is a translation for the normal among us who aren't sick furry fucks endorsing bestiality and pedophilia:
Warning! May contain nexcessive furry faggotry fanart
Continued trolling of Simpson is encouraged, as each troll sends him away to weep with his parents and pushes him just that much closer to becoming an hero. Need more reasons to troll him? Okay!
- Here is a picture of DC Simpson sucking a cock, presumably his boyfriend's: LINK IS HERE ,SIIIIIIIICK
- He continues to insist that he's a tranny, despite being denied by his therapist on multiple occasions. (He now claims that he has gotten the sex change anyway, and goes by the name "Dana Claire Lisa Simpson.")
- He firmly believes that he and The Simpsons creator Matt Groening are spiritual siblings, and that the character of Lisa Simpson is directly based on his life and actions.
- (11:56:08 PM) bluedragon0477: Matt Groening and me, brother and sister under the skin. :-)
- He enjoys roleplaying on furry mucks and Second Life as little girl furries. He also enjoys having virtual sex with these characters, and using them to indulge the shaving fetish (see above) that occasionally crops up in his abortion of a comic.
- He has no job to speak of. His income consists of furfag donations and leeching off his boyfriend.
- He produces porn of his characters under a pseudonym and throws a fit when it shows up on the internet and/or others do the same.
- Has a creepy shaving fetish.
Easy trolling opportunities:
- AIM: bluedragon0477 (Seldom online. Try trolling his boyfriend instead: orvgull)
- Second Life: Raine Daligdig
- Current Email: [email protected] (porn spam list signups a plus)
- His LJ: (Trolled into oblivion, currently friends-only)
- His boyfriend's LJ:
- His bestest artist buddy, Thomas Dye's LJ:
- Postvixen critiques CYD's critique of DC Simpson on circuit-four
- Some gimp critiques Postvixen's critique of CYD's critique on john-keel
- Ozy and Millie
- Define Cynical, Ozy and Millie fansite - She no longer endorses this site due to the meanies who don't liker her god awful comic
- Cultural Marxism
- Jay Naylor his conservative counterpart
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