Cyberbu//y (AKA Lolcow: The Movie and The most powerful movie event of the summer) is an ABC made-for-tv movie about how to have fun on the Internet. The film is about some dumb whore that gets butthurt because someone called her gay in a chat room. She proceeds to cry and make a big fucking deal about it like a typical attention seeking slut. Nobody cares about her delicate feelings and we all learn the important lesson that cyberbullying is actually pretty funny.
Taylor Hillridge has everything. She is just your typical rich white female. She makes fun of the unpopular, constantly discusses shoes with her friends, and plays up the attractive boy in her class. Then everything changes when someone hacks her
MySpace Cliquester and calls her a pregnant prostitute. Taylor, not being a pregnant prostitute in real life, is hit hard by this. How is she going to convince everyone IRL that she isn't a pregnant prostitute? Not knowing where to go, she posts on YouTube Cliquester where she insists that she isn't a pregnant prostitute, and announces her suicide. One of her friends runs to her rescue, and despite taking about 15 minutes for her to reach Taylor's house, she finds out that Taylor isn't in any immediate danger of dying, as she, despite being in high school, is still too dumb to open a pill bottle without help. And so Taylor gets thrown in therapy, and her mother abuses her story to ban free speech on the Internet forever. And everyone is unhappy. The end.
- Taylor: The white heroine who lives comfortably with her family in her home in the suburbs. She spends the first part of the movie acting like a massive cunt to anyone in her school who isn't in her close circle of friends, or isn't an attractive white boy. After she is subjected to BAD WORDS (on the Internet of all places), she gets busy with angsting and crying. Tries killing herself by GRABIN' PEELZ, but fails horribly as she lacks the intelligence to bypass a child proof cap. Safe to say: Bitch had it coming.
- Lindsay: A closet lesbian with a massive crush on Taylor, and the true tragic hero of the story. Afraid that her conservative parents and her conformist friends find out about her true sexuality, she spends her every waken moment insulting Taylor to keep the gay thoughts away.
- Eric: Taylor's brother, and a true humanitarian. Tired of living under the same roof as his stupid cow of a sister, he decides to get rid of the bitch before she can successfully reproduce, and thus blight the world with an army of tard-babies. He decides that the best course of action is driving her to suicide, and hacks her profile, which sets the whole chain of events that is the movie's stupid excuse for a plot in motion. Unfortunately he manages to grossly overestimate his sister's intelligence, and his plan ultimately falls flat because of a child proof cap.
- Samantha: Taylor's "friend" and Eric's co-conspirator. Getting cold feet, she betrays Eric in the 11th hour.
- Caleb: A gay Arab who offers Taylor his sympathy, even after the whole school has turned their back on her. Showing what a good, grateful, and kindhearted person she is, Taylor flatly rejects him, because the pain of being a straight, attractive, white female subjected to false accusations is so totally much more unbearable than the pain of being a sand nigger faggot subjected to insults based on facts.
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